Happy Dance for My Sanity

Usually to the tune of...

177,205 notes

paternalstranger:

ladynehemah:

hiddlesherethereeverywhere:

ivorysorrows:

lil-miss-choc:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print. 
Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.

What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.

All of this. Anyone who is thinking about experimenting with a BDSM relationship PLEASE do not use this book as a guide. It can be VERY dangerous if not done correctly and safely. Communication is a HUGE FUCKING PART of a BDSM sexual relationship and it is simply not catered to in this book. There are tons of fanfiction authors on here and on AO3 who do BDSM justice. They write about safe words, aftercare, consent, all of it. Go find some of those instead of using this as a guide. 

Very true, there’s a difference between abuse and BDSM.
On a side note, my friends an I have a drinking game going.  Every time he says or does something that is a red flag for an abusive relationship, you take a drink.  The objective is to still be conscious by the end of the movie, lol.


Please tell me you’re downloading it for free, and you’re NOT GIVING THEM MONEY TO PERPETUATE THIS SHIT.  

paternalstranger:

ladynehemah:

hiddlesherethereeverywhere:

ivorysorrows:

lil-miss-choc:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada

Use, redistribute, print. 

Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex

it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine

i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me

just

fucking

drop

some fucking

knowledge on you right now.

Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.

Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.

What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.

And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.

All of this. Anyone who is thinking about experimenting with a BDSM relationship PLEASE do not use this book as a guide. It can be VERY dangerous if not done correctly and safely. Communication is a HUGE FUCKING PART of a BDSM sexual relationship and it is simply not catered to in this book. There are tons of fanfiction authors on here and on AO3 who do BDSM justice. They write about safe words, aftercare, consent, all of it. Go find some of those instead of using this as a guide. 

Very true, there’s a difference between abuse and BDSM.

On a side note, my friends an I have a drinking game going.  Every time he says or does something that is a red flag for an abusive relationship, you take a drink.  The objective is to still be conscious by the end of the movie, lol.

Please tell me you’re downloading it for free, and you’re NOT GIVING THEM MONEY TO PERPETUATE THIS SHIT.  

796 notes

In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective.
Dalai Lama, via The Daily Love (via fuckyeahyoga)

0 notes

To live with honor and integrity, you must accept that others will not and that you should not lower your standards to try to raise them to yours.

0 notes

_____________, please don’t let me fall. If I do, let there be a safety net this time. It took so long to put myself back together last time and I’m still missing pieces. I can’t do it again. I can’t do this alone. Please don’t let me fall.

Filed under prayer

0 notes

13 week preggo belly - 2nd time around popped out a bit sooner than the first…

13 week preggo belly - 2nd time around popped out a bit sooner than the first…

3,121 notes

Anonymous asked: Do you ever feel like you can't say anything right? I feel like you are always apologizing despite not doing or saying anything that warrants an apology.

edwardspoonhands:

I think I do plenty that is worth apologizing for. Last year, we didn’t have a “Women of YouTube” panel at VidCon because we just didn’t think of it, despite the fact that it was one of the most popular pieces of content at VidCon 2012, and it was so wanted that they ended up having a pop-up panel outside that was very well attended. 

That’s fucking gross that I did that. 

I think the difference is that my fuckups are public, and I’m held publicly accountable, and of all the parts of my public life, that’s one the I really, honestly, do not resent. 

Why?

Because it’s just the world forcing me, despite my shitty self, to be a better person. I have no fucking choice because you’re making me…you’re watching, and I honestly care what you think. I /want/ a conscience filled with a hundred thousand righteous youths who believe I can be better, because otherwise I won’t be.